Dear Maryland MVA:
We’ve known each other a long time, twenty years in fact. I feel like we’re the kind of friends who can be really, really honest with each other. So, know that it is with love in my heart that I say: you suck.
Dear Republicans:
You’ve proven, yet again, that anyone -anyone at all- can be President. . . so long as they are a wealthy, white, self-righteous Christian who is still angry with Russia.
Dear Hollywood:
Beverly Hills Chihuahua? What the fuck are you thinking?
Dear Plantar Warts:
Get off my feet, bitches. It’s like P Diddy is living on the soles of my feet. . .except my warts have more talent and better personality. Fucking foot herpes.
Dear GM:
You have destroyed Saab. Nice going. What’s next, Ikea?
Dear Hundreds of Visitors Who Never Leave Comments:
Thanks for nothing.
